Good Old Homer
Naked Chicks
Best Friend's Wedding
Another Sad Song

Swatting Flies

Chances Of A Man Winning An Argument

Walking Boxes

 What If ?
          PAGE TWO

Bill Clinton, John Kerry, and George W. Bush face a firing squad in a small Central American country. Bill Clinton is first placed against the wall, and just before the order to shoot him is given, he yells, "Earthquake!" The firing squad falls into a panic and Bill jumps over the wall and escapes in the confusion. John Kerry is the second one placed against the wall. The squad is reassembled and John ponders what his old pal Bill has done. Before the order to shoot is given, John yells, "Tornado!" Again, the squad falls apart and Kerry slips over the wall. The last person, George W. Bush, is placed against the wall. He is thinking, "I see the pattern here, just scream out a disaster and hop over the wall." As the firing squad is reassembled and the rifles raised in his direction, he grins his famous smirk and yells.... "Fire !"

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him - is he still wrong?

 Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. I wait six weeks for an appointment to see my doctor then he says, "I wish you'd come to see me sooner!"

Dear Nephew, Your Aunt and I were sitting in Bob Evans at Elkview the other day when she looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor. I said  "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?" "Yes" she replies, "He's my ex-husband, and has been drinking like  that since I left him seven years ago." I said "That's remarkable, I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long." She hasn't spoken to me since....did I say something wrong?   Uncle Jake

Home Land Security?

 

 GAMES

He's been like this since the election in 2004!
WARNING: A new scam is being pulled mainly on older men . What  happens is that when you stop for a red light a young, nude woman comes up and pretends to be washing your windshield. While she is doing this another person opens your back door and steals anything in the car. They are very good at this. They got me 7 times Friday and 5 times Saturday. I wasn't able  to find them on Sunday.

What I Think of Bush's Policies!

Thanksgiving4a

 

Let's see if I understand how the world works lately...If a man cuts his finger off while slicing salami at work,  he blames the restaurant. If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco company. If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, he blames the bartender. If your grandchildren are brats without manners,  you blame television. If your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you blame the gun manufacturer. And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the deceased blames the airline. I must have lived too long to understand the world as it is anymore. So, if I die while my old, tired butt is parked in front of this computer, I want you to sue Bill Gates...okay?

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