TOP 12 COUNTRY SONG
12. I Hate Every Bone in Her Body But Mine.
11. It's Hard to Kiss the Lips At Night That Chewed My Butt All Day.
10. If the Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.
09. I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well.
08. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Getting Better.
07. I Wouldn't take her to a Dog Fight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win.
06. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight.
05. I'm So Miserable without you, It's like You're Still Here.
04. If I Had Shot You When I First wanted To, I'd Be Out Of Prison By
03. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Sure Do Miss Him.
02. She Got the Ring and I Got the Finger.
And the number 1 Country Song is:
01. I Ain't Never Gone to Bed with Ugly Women But I've Sure Woke Up
With a Few
CONTRIBUTED BY STEVE HUGHES SPENCER,
elderly couple in their 80's were about to get married.
She said: I want to keep my house.
He said that's fine with me.
She said: And I want to keep my Cadillac.
He said: That's fine with me.
She said: And I want to have sex 6 times a week.
He said: That's fine with me...Put me down for Fridays..
Contributed By Charlotte Steed Charleston, WV
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw
out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel
where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic
schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the
husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying
down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel.
There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his
wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email
address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her
husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory
following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting
messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first
message, she screamed and fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw
the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2006
I know! you're surprised to
hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send
emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see
that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward
to seeing you then!
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!
Contributed By Holly Webb Gainesville, GA